Retirement speeches

A Comprehensive Collection of Retirement Speeches, Retirement Jokes, Retirement Quotes, Retirement Letters, Retirement Gifts, and Retirement Poems

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This is a compare and contrast, any help would be great especially with comma splices and run-ons thank you!! The Charm of Magic City With a skyline like nowhere else in the world, Miami FL is an urban paradise. The buildings reach up into the heavens, mediators between the sky and the concrete street. The streets that move and seethe under the adoring eyes of the summer sun. The city has a heartbeat of its own; the heat can be seen rising from the ground, pulsing. With youthful eyes Miami seemed so vast to me, the skyscrapers and shoreline extended far beyond my comprehension. This place was the stage of my childhood, where I found out what friendship and love meant; where I discovered things about myself that live true to this day. I left Miami when I was 14 because my parents said that it was too dangerous for me. I never understood what they meant back then; I couldn’t fathom that the place where all my dreams were born, could be bad. I’ve come back to visit during Christmas, after many years have passed; the whole family got together at my grandmother’s house. There is a huge celebration, with more home cooked Cuban food than even an ambitious family restaurant. After talking with cousins’, aunts, and uncles and going out to my old haunts on south beach, I realize that the city just didn’t feel the same. The city itself hasn’t changed much, it’s still a hotspot for people looking to have fun and let loose. The place that I remember is just a façade, and has somehow melted away to reveal what was there all along. So with a veteran’s eye I take a closer look at the city I once loved, and see the decay and filth that was underneath the neon lights all those years ago. Miami was utopia for me, there was a huge world within the city limits for me to explore and experience. At any given time there was somewhere to go, something to do and someone to talk to. I can remember standing on Lincoln Ave, and marveling at the cacophony emitted by the tangling of so many people’s lives; it was an urban orchestra of speech and noise performed in a way that made it beautiful. The smell of overpriced coffee and sea water was like catnip for to a kitten. Being young and wanting to find out about society, and how people interact with each other; I was fascinated by the masses that flooded the beach on Saturday night. I could observe human nature and all the different lifestyles put on display; I could be a part of it all. I decide to take a ride down to the same spot during my visit and realize that nothing is like it was. The 45 minute drive, and then the 30 minutes spent driving around looking for parking was enough to make me insane. There were so many people on the street that I had to cruise at 5 miles an hour just to avoid hitting someone. The horde of people didn’t seem so interesting anymore, instead they were just a nuisance. The girls dressed in hot pink tutus, and the guys in black trench coats and eye liner didn’t arouse my enthusiasm for the city, I just looked at them funny and paid little attention. Walking down the same strip, carrying a cup of that same overpriced coffee I used to smell, a different aroma filled the air; it was stale beer and cigarette smoke. The mighty kingdom of the Lincoln strip has been reduced to an overcrowded, inconveniencing maze of drunken college students. Besides a retirement destination, Miami is known for its nightlife. Back when I partied all the time, the club scene was something out of the movies; although I was too young to be there, I always got in. My Favorite club was the crowbar, where people like Madonna had been known to visit. Walking in was like entering a different world, the huge ceiling to floor tropical fish tanks and dripping crystal chandeliers made a lasting impression. The vibrations from the blasting music entered my ears and spread through my body like neurotoxic poison from a snake bite; taking control of me and forcing me to dance all night long. There was always a house party or rave to attend, where strobe lights made things move in slow motion, and the techno music could be heard for at least 2 city blocks. Laughter and dancing were on the forefront of my agenda; everyone around me seemed to be having the time of their lives. Upon my return to this party destination, my feelings are far from lighthearted and carefree. Before even reaching the club I notice the graffiti laden walls; I now know what the symbols on the sides of buildings mean. I also know that I can’t drive down certain street or wear certain colors in some areas. There was always deviance before, but neighborhood squabbles are a far cry from the gun fights and robbery that is seen now. The growth and evolution of violence can be tracked; it’s a toxic wave of noxious fumes that creeps through alleys leaving a visible trail of corrosion in its wake. This dark fog of malicious activity comes to rest under burned out street lamps or high traffic cor

11. Why does Robert Frost allude to Eden in "Nothing Gold Can Stay"? Eden's short-lived perfection is similar to the temporary perfection of nature's first green. Eden is known to be filled with gold. Eden is a place that remained perfect forever, just like the world described in Frost's poem. Eden is a place that Frost visited many times. 12. In William Blake’s poem “A Poison Tree,” the tree stands for __________. nature’s beauty the speaker’s fury the speaker’s opponent the need to eat and drink 13. In “A Poison Tree,” William Blake writes, “I was angry with my friend: / I told my wrath, my wrath did end.” From what point of view are these lines written? third-person limited point of view third-person omniscient point of view second-person point of view first-person point of view 14. Sara Teasdale expresses the mood of “Barter” to readers by __________. relying on lighthearted imagery and upbeat diction alluding to people and things past creating a challenging rhyme scheme using interesting and unexpected punctuation 15. In the speech "All the World's a Stage," Shakespeare compares life to a play and men and women to __________. a stage actors audience members writers 16. Shakespeare’s “All the World’s a Stage” contains a number of comparisons that do not use the words like or as, or __________. ironies similes symbols metaphors 17. Which of the following best describes the organization of Shakespeare's "All the World's a Stage" speech? It is organized in order of each age's importance. It is organized in chronological order, just like life. It is organized in reverse order to make it original. It is organized in random order because life is random. 18. Which two stages of life share the most characteristics in Shakespeare’s “All the World’s a Stage”? soldier and judge infancy and old age infatuation and retirement student years and old age 19. What do Sara Teasdale's "Barter" and "Beauty" by E-Yeh-Shure' both focus on? the good things that life has to offer the dangers of the natural world the temporary qualities of natural beauty how the world looks as a storm approaches 20. What is the purpose of the structure and punctuation Emily Dickinson employs in her poetry? They are meant to confuse readers and keep them guessing at her meaning. They give her writing its humor. They are the standard format of a sonnet written during Dickinson's time. They help readers know how to read her poems aloud.

A local priest was being honored at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish. A leading local politician and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and to give a little speech at the dinner. However, he was delayed so the priest decided to say his own few words while they waited: "I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession I heard here. I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first person who entered my confessional told me he had stolen a television set and, when questioned by the police, was able to lie his way out of it. He had also stolen money from his parents, embezzled from his employer, had an affair with his best friend's wife, and taken illicit drugs. I was appalled. "But as the days went on I learned that my people were not all like that and I had, indeed, come to a fine parish full of good and loving people." Just as the priest finished his talk, the politician arrived full of apologies for being late. He immediately began to make the presentation and said: "I'll never forget the first day our parish priest arrived. In fact, I had the honor of being the first person to go to him for confession." Moral: Never, never, NEVER-EVER be late.

"I'm 63 and Im Tired" by Robert A. Hall I'm 63. Except for one semester in college when jobs were scarce and a six-month period when I was between jobs, but job-hunting every day, I've worked, hard, since I was 18. Despite some health challenges, I still put in 50-hour weeks, and haven't called in sick in seven or eight years. I make a good salary, but I didn't inherit my job or my income, and I worked to get where I am. Given the economy, there's no retirement in sight, and I'm tired. Very tired. I'm tired of being told that I have to "spread the wealth" to people who don't have my work ethic. I'm tired of being told the government will take the money I earned, by force if necessary, and give it to people too lazy to earn it. I'm tired of being told that I have to pay more taxes to "keep people in their homes." Sure, if they lost their jobs or got sick, I'm willing to help. But if they bought McMansions at three times the price of our paid-off, $250,000 condo, on one-third of my salary, then let the left-wing Congress-critters who passed Fannie and Freddie and the Community Reinvestment Act that created the bubble help them with their own money. I'm tired of being told how bad America is by left-wing millionaires like Michael Moore, George Soros and Hollywood Entertainers who live in luxury because of the opportunities America offers. In thirty years, if they get their way, the United States will have the economy of Zimbabwe , the freedom of the press of China , the crime and violence of Mexico , the tolerance for Christian people of Iran , and the freedom of speech of Venezuela . I'm tired of being told that Islam is a "Religion of Peace," when every day I can read dozens of stories of Muslim men killing their sisters, wives and daughters for their family "honor"; of Muslims rioting over some slight offense; of Muslims murdering Christian and Jews because they aren't "believers"; of Muslims burning schools for girls; of Muslims stoning teenage rape victims to death for "adultery"; of Muslims mutilating the genitals of little girls; all in the name of Allah, because the Qur'an and Shari'a law tells them to. I'm tired of being told that "race doesn't matter" in the post-racial world of Obama, when it's all that matters in affirmative action jobs, lower college admission and graduation standards for minorities (harming them the most), government contract set-asides, tolerance for the ghetto culture of violence and fatherless children that hurts minorities more than anyone, and in the appointment of U.S. Senators from Illinois. I think it's very cool that we have a black president and that a black child is doing her homework at the desk where Lincoln wrote the Emancipation Proclamation. I just wish the black president was Condi Rice, or someone who believes more in freedom and the individual and less arrogantly of an all-knowing government. I'm tired of a news media that thinks Bush's fundraising and inaugural expenses were obscene, but that think Obama's, at triple the cost, were wonderful; that thinks Bush exercising daily was a waste of presidential time, but Obama exercising is a great example for the public to control weight and stress; that picked over every line of Bush's military records, but never demanded that Kerry release his; that slammed Palin, with two years as governor, for being too inexperienced for VP, but touted Obama with three years as senator as potentially the best president ever. Wonder why people are dropping their subscriptions or switching to Fox News? Get a clue. I didn't vote for Bush in 2000, but the media and Kerry drove me to his camp in 2004. I'm tired of being told that out of "tolerance for other cultures" we must let Saudi Arabia use our oil money to fund mosques and madrassa Islamic schools to preach hate in America , while no American group is allowed to fund a church, synagogue or religious school in Saudi Arabia to teach love and tolerance. I'm tired of being told I must lower my living standard to fight global warming, which no one is allowed to debate. My wife and I live in a two-bedroom apartment and carpool together five miles to our jobs. We also own a three-bedroom condo where our daughter and granddaughter live. Our carbon footprint is about 5% of Al Gore's, and if you're greener than Gore, you're green enough. I'm tired of being told that drug addicts have a disease, and I must help support and treat them, and pay for the damage they do. Did a giant germ rush out of a dark alley, grab them, and stuff white powder up their noses while they tried to fight it off? I don't think Gay people choose to be Gay, but I damn sure think druggies chose to take drugs. And I'm tired of harassment from cool people treating me like a freak when I tell them I never tried marijuana. I'm tired of illegal aliens being called "undo

If George W. Bush had been the first President to need a teleprompter installed to be able to get through a press conference, would you have laughed and said this is more proof of how he inept he is on his own and is really controlled by smarter men behind the scenes? If George W. Bush had spent hundreds of thousands of dollars to take Laura Bush to a play in NYC, would you have approved? If George W. Bush had reduced your retirement plan's holdings of GM stock by 90% and given the unions a majority stake in GM, would you have approved? If George W. Bush had made a joke at the expense of the Special Olympics, would you have approved? If George W. Bush had given Gordon Brown a set of inexpensive and incorrectly formatted DVDs, when Gordon Brown had given him a thoughtful and historically significant gift, would you have approved? If George W. Bush had given the Queen of England an iPod containing videos of his speeches, would you have thought this embarrassingly narcissistic and tacky? If George W. Bush had bowed to the King of Saudi Arabia, would you have approved? If George W. Bush had visited Austria and made reference to the non-existent "Austrian language," would you have brushed it off as a minor slip? If George W. Bush had filled his cabinet and circle of advisers with people who cannot seem to keep current in their income taxes, would you have approved? If George W. Bush had stated that there were 57 states in the United States , would you have said that he is clueless. If George W. Bush would have flown all the way to Denmark to make a five minute speech about how the Olympics would benefit him walking out his front door in Texas , would you have thought he was a self important, conceited, egotistical idiot. If George W. Bush had been so Spanish illiterate as to refer to "Cinco de Quattro" in front of the Mexican ambassador when it was the 5th of May (Cinco de Mayo), and continued to flub it when he tried again, would you have winced in embarrassment? If George W. Bush had burned 9,000 gallons of jet fuel to go plant a single tree on Earth Day, would you have concluded he's a hypocrite? If George W. Bush's administration had okay-ed Air Force One flying low over millions of people followed by a jet fighter in downtown Manhattan causing widespread panic, would you have wondered whether they actually get what happened on 9-11? If George W. Bush had failed to send relief aid to flood victims throughout the Midwest with more people killed or made homeless than in New Orleans , would you want it made into a major ongoing political issue with claims of racism and incompetence? If George W. Bush had created the position of 32 Czars who report directly to him, bypassing the House and Senate on much of what is happening in America , would you have approved? If George W. Bush had ordered the firing of the CEO of a major corporation, even though he had no constitutional authority to do so, would you have approved? If George W Bush had proposed to double the national debt, which had taken more than two centuries to accumulate, in one year, would you have approved? If George W. Bush had then proposed to double the debt again within 10 years, would you have approved? So, tell me again, what is it about Obama that makes him so brilliant and impressive? Command of the language? Corpseman? Can't think of anything? Don't worry. He's done all this in a year-- so you'll have three years to come up with an answer.

My father has recently retired after working for over 30 years. For the first "part" of his retirement he was fine, just bored. Lately he hasn't been able to sleep and when he does sleep he never goes into a deep sleep and is constantly talking and moving and is easily woken up. When he comes downstairs to do daily activities he's very tired and is constantly falling asleep but when he does fall "asleep" he talks and moves still but he does it with his eyes open. His speech is a little sloppy lately but he also needs to go to a dentist because the bottom false teeth have been loose. However in the past two weeks or so he has been claiming to see people sitting on the couch next to him when there is nobody there, thinks my mother gave/offered him a sandwich when she never did, and now just today is claiming to see people moving and turning around and looking at him in the backyard when there is nobody there, but then the next minute he says that nobodys there and it's just something, say a tree, that looks like a person, but then turns around again and talks about it again as if there are real people there. He is very stubborn when it comes to the doctor, and it's very hard to get him to go because he feels, ever since being misdiagnosed with MS, that all they do is false diagnose and mumble on about things that are of no use to him. Should I be concerned about his current state? Is there anything I can do to help him? Should I REALLY push or even trick him into going to the doctor?

What in tarnation is that boy thinking?! does he think I'm old! Why would I want to hang out with them old people who have a fetish with checkers and tapioca... I overheard him say something about this economy and me feeding off their money... If they think I'm feeding off their money then I would have killed those sprouts 8 years ago! but then I would be stuck with only Dill and he is to retarded to be related to MY family! I told my son that If I go then Tommy goes with me! Since I would steal his reptar stuff! I was kicked out of the house after that speech and now don't have no direction... and Uncle Borris has cancer so its best I not bother him. Should I consider Chuckie my long lost son so I can feed off the money chaz makes? Or do you have a guest room for me?

I do not condone the actions of this crazy man. However, he single handed created more jobs in an instant than Obama and the Democratic controlled congress has in the last 6 months. Even Democratic senator Evan Bayh said so himself during his speech announcing his retirement. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rdvU8eplCts&feature=related I'm not comparing Senator Bayh and the plane crash. I know the events occurred at different times. I was comparing the Senators comments of not one single job being created in the past 6 months. Compared to how many jobs were created by the plane crash. And as stated by below, when someone does die in the war, it often does create a job opening. As sad and chalice as it may sound, that is the truth. Just the same as when a tornado destroys a home, someone gets the job of building a new house.

New Jersey State Worker gets $3.8 MILLION Pension Benefit on a $124,000 Contribution "One state retiree, 49 years old, paid, over the course of his entire career, a total of $124,000 towards his retirement pension and health benefits. What will we pay him? $3.3 million in pension payments over his life and nearly $500,000 for health care benefits -- a total of $3.8m on a $120,000 investment. Is that fair? A retired teacher paid $62,000 towards her pension and nothing, yes nothing, for full family medical, dental and vision coverage over her entire career. What will we pay her? $1.4 million in pension benefits and another $215,000 in health care benefit premiums over her lifetime. Is it “fair” for all of us and our children to have to pay for this excess?" SOURCE: Governor Chris Christie's Budget Speech, Thursday, February 11, 2010 http://www.northjersey.com/news/state/021110_Full_Text_of_Governor_Chris_Christies_Budget_Speech.html?page=all

I need a speech for my grandma thanking her and congratulating her on her retirement I am her grandson.

In an interview with Fanhouse.com, TNA star Mick Foley had some positive things to say about the often-criticized head writer of TNA, Vince Russo. "I think even Vince Russo would probably agree that him being world champion was possibly not the best idea in the world. But he's a very creative guy," Foley said. "He loves to write. He loves to make characters and I think people who, you know the people who chant 'fire Russo' really have no idea how large of a contribution he made to the wrestling product that they sometimes seem to like. I'm talking about the wrestling product overall as in this generation of wrestling. I think he was one of the key guys right up there with the top on-air talents." Credit: WrestlingHeadlines.com I agree with Foley here. Russo obviously has screwed up many times, but he also has had some ideas over the years there were hits. The ones that were hits were truly awsome. Think back to the hoax Scott Steiner 'retirement' speech in WCW where he was crying in a neckbrace saying his career was over. EVERYONE bought it. That was Russo. Russo is hit or miss, but when he hits it, he is gold

my assignment is to present an award or eulogy to thier favorite super hero. real or made up. present 3 biological facts and one personal anecdote within the main body of speech. full introduction, attention getter, orienting material, full conclusion, clincher. mine needs help!! any suggestions?? the introduction and conclusion need help:) plus it needs to be more then 3 minutes. Good evening everyone and thank you for being here to honor the brave and amazing super hero of all times bacon man. Bacon man was born in 1977 at Hillshire farms. He was the only piece of bacon given a cape and a mask. From day one he began fighting crime and made headlines everywhere. He had his own TV show and sold millions of dollars in movies and figurines. At his peak of crime fighting, he was even more famous then Spiderman and batman. I remember the day when there was a terrible grease storm in Rockford. Everyone was scared for their lives and hid in the basements of their homes. Bacon man had no fear and sucked up all the grease from the sky like a sponge until he almost exploded. I remember everyone cheering him on this day and declaring it national bacon man day. We still celebrate November 15 in Rockford to this day. His sides kick Canadian bacon man could never keep up with his passion for crime fighting. He was always jealous of him. Like many great athletes of our time, Michael Jordan and Bret farve, bacon man wanted to try out retirement. He tried to work as a people greeter for Wal-Mart. He tried being the mascot for liberty tax service, but he was too small and no one could see him standing on the side of the road. He even tried to film a TV commercial for geiko car insurance. No one appreciated his talents. So he gave up the car insurance to the gecko and returned to the life of fighting crime. Unfortunately his return to crime fighting would be a mistake. Reports say he has been missing for over a year now. Sources say he had a dispute with Hillshire farms over a new superhero, maple brown sugar bacon women. He threw a fit when he found out that he could be replaced by a woman. He got so angry one night flying about; he flew into a blt and was eaten. Sources claim the blt was very delicious and filled with bacon and loads of juicy tomatoes. Later that night, bacon mans cape and mask were discovered on a plate of dishes from a waitress at a local IHOP restaurant. Was bacon man eaten or did he finally retire and disappear? No one knows to this day. Thank you everyone for your time tonight to honor bacon man and his amazing story. Rockford will never be the same without him.

I am currently a sophomore in high school and am my ambition is to attain a career in the medical field, but I have some questions concerning preparation for Med school and Pre-Med. - What sort of science classes should I focus on in for the next two years of high school? (I am currently enrolled in chemistry, and plan to take physics in my junior year and human anatomy and physiology as a science elective in my senior year, but I am also considering adding in an AP science course to my senior schedule.) -What sort of extra curriculars would colleges be most interested in for a student applying for a science major or pre-med if possible. (currently in mock trial and speech competitions, but joining debate next year, and wish to apply for summer volunteering at hospitals or retirement facilities.) -I am currently enrolled in geometry B and am taking alg II/trig C my junior year, and pre-calc my senior year, but would it be advisable to take alg II/trig over the summer so I can take calculus my senior year? (should I get a leg-up on calculus before entering college?) -What other classes should I be focusing on that may help me in the future? (i.e. would you advise studying up on bio chem and organic chemistry in my free time?) -Final question ( please excuse my long explainations, I am a bit wordy : / ) Have any of you gone to med school or have taken pre medical classes, and can you share you experience with me? (how difficult is it, and advice?) Thank you. :)

boy - watching Kurt's retirement speech today made me realize he is one class act. Which made me think, who is the total opposite of Kurt? Why, it is A-Roid isn't IT???!! Kurt: God, family, football A-Roid: Strippers, Madonna, divorce and steroids.... then, maybe baseball... think A-Roid needs to do something about his off-the-field image?? I would think so

Are you ready to take another dump on your retirement funds?

"I'm Tired" by Robert A. Hall I'll be 63 soon. Except for one semester in college when jobs were scarce, and a six-month period when I was between jobs but job-hunting every day, I've worked hard, since I was 18. Despite some health challenges, I still put in 50-hour weeks, and haven't called in sick for seven or eight years. I make a good salary, but I didn't inherit my job or my income, and I worked to get where I am. Given the economy, there's no retirement in sight, and I'm tired. Very tired. I'm tired of being told that I have to "spread the wealth around" to people who don't have my work ethic. I'm tired of being told the government will take the money I earned, by force if necessary, and give it to people too lazy or stupid to earn it. I'm tired of being told that I have to pay more taxes to "keep people in their homes." Sure, if they lost their jobs or got sick, I'm willing to help. But if they bought McMansions at three times the price of our paid-off, $250,000 condo, on one-third of my salary, then let the left-wing Congress-critters who passed Fannie and Freddie and the Community Reinvestment Act that created the bubble, help them with their own money. I'm tired of being told how bad America is by left-wing millionaires like Michael Moore, George Soros, and Hollywood entertainers who live in luxury because of the opportunities America offers. In thirty years, if they get their way, the United States will have the economy of Zimbabwe, the freedom of the press of China , the crime and violence of Mexico, the tolerance of Iran for Christian people, and the freedom of speech of Venezuela . Won't multiculturalism be beautiful? I'm tired of being told that Islam is a "religion of peace," when every day I can read dozens of stories of Muslim men killing their sisters, wives and daughters for their family "honor"; of Muslims rioting over some slight offense; of Muslims murdering Christians and Jews because they aren't "believers"; of Muslims burning schools for girls; of Muslims stoning teenage rape victims to death for "adultery"; of Muslims mutilating the genitals of little girls, all in the name of Allah, because the Qur'an and Shari'a law tell them to. I believe "a man should be judged by the content of his character, not by the color of his skin.." I'm tired of being told that "race doesn't matter" in the post-racial world of Obama, when it's all that matters in affirmative-action jobs, lower college admission and graduation standards for minorities (harming them the most), government contract set-asides, tolerance for the ghetto culture of violence and fatherless children that hurts minorities more than anyone, and in the appointment of US Senators from Illinois. I think it's very cool that we have a black president and that a black child is doing her homework at the desk where Lincoln wrote the emancipation proclamation. I just wish that it was someone who believes more in freedom and the individual, and less arrogantly of an all-knowing government. I'm tired of a news media that thinks Bush's fundraising and inaugural expenses were obscene, but that think Obama's, at triple the cost, were wonderful; that Bush exercising daily was a waste of presidential time, but Obama exercising is a great example for the public to control weight and stress; that picked over every line of Bush's military records, but never demanded that Kerry release his; that slammed Palin, with two years as governor, for being too inexperienced for VP, but touted Obama with three years as senator as potentially the best president ever. Wonder why people are dropping their subscriptions, or switching to Fox News? Get a clue. I didn't vote for Bush in 2000, but the media and Kerry drove me to his camp in 2004. I'm tired of being told that out of "tolerance for other cultures" we must let Saudi Arabia use our oil money to fund mosques and madrassa Islamic schools to preach hate in America , while no American group is allowed to fund a church, synagogue, or religious school in Saudi Arabia to teach love and tolerance. I'm tired of being told I must lower my living standard to fight global warming, which no one is allowed to debate. My wife and I live in a two-bedroom apartment and carpool together five miles to our jobs. We also own a three-bedroom condo where our daughter and granddaughter live. Our carbon footprint is about 5% of Al Gore's, and if you're greener than Gore, you're green enough. I'm tired of being told that drug addicts have a disease, and I must help support and treat them, and pay for the damage they do. Did a giant germ rush out of a dark alley, grab them, and stuff

I Have A Dream by Floyd Mayweather Jnr I am happy to join with you today in what will go down as the greatest demonstration of arrogance, cowardliness, and incivility in the history of boxing. Not so long ago, I had the opportunity to become the greatest boxer of all time by fighting the current best pound for pound boxer in the world, but squandered it with my travesty of demanding an unprecedented drug test from him. So, I have come here today to dramatize a shameful condition. In a sense you have come to cash a check. When my henchmen drafted the magnificent words on that fight contract, we were signing a promissory note to which every boxing fans was to fall heir. This note was a promise that all fans would be guaranteed the fight of the century. But, it is obvious today that my cohorts and I have defaulted on this promissory note. Instead of honoring this sacred obligation, I have given the boxing fans a bad check, a check which has come back marked "insufficient funds." I must admit, I failed to gather courage sufficient enough to fight the warrior that has engulfed the entire boxing community with his outstanding performance in and out of the ring. It would be fatal for the boxing nation to overlook the urgency of the moment. This frigid winter of the boxing fans' legitimate discontent will not pass until I fight the "The Pac Storm". The whirlwinds of revolt will continue to shake the foundations of boxing until the day I fight the man. I have come to realize that to be great, I have to fight the great. I cannot walk alone. I will not seek to satisfy my thirst for greatness by drinking from the cup of fearfulness and arrogance. Therefore, I say to you today, my friends, in the process of gaining my rightful place in boxing history, I am fighting the #1 Pound for Pound fighter in the world --- myself. In order to conquer that demon with a "0" mark on its head, I am announcing my retirement. I have come to realize that the only brave thing for me to do, is run. So even though I will face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in our family of crooks. I have a dream that one day boxing will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident: that Money Mayweather is the greatest boxer of all time; greater than Ali or Leonard." I have a dream today. I have a dream that I am whipping that punk ass Manny Pacquiao. This is my hope. This is the faith that I go back to my Las Vegas mansion with. With this faith I will be able to transform the jangling discords of our family into a beautiful symphony of ganghood. With this faith we will be able to work together, to do drugs together, to beat women together, to go to jail together, to stand up for incivility together, knowing that we will be free one day. And for boxing to be once again a great sport, this must become true. And for this to become true, I entreat all americans to support me just as they have supported our brave american troops overseas. And when this happens, we will be able to speed up that day when all boxing fans will be able to join hands and sing Free at last! Free from my obligations to the fans! Free from Pacquiao's wrath! Free from fear! Thank Money almighty, I am free at last!

In his retirement speech, he said that if you had a TV you'd be seeing him and that he was going to be a "million dollar n***a." I haven't seen him on TV, though, so does anyone know what he's been up to?

Basically the guy who foresaw the collapse of Enron thinks China is about to have serious problems. His argument: they are providing tons of easy credit. This is easy credit then allows people to buy things they maybe can't afford (similar to U.S. housing bubble). All this buying makes investors think the economy is growing rapidly........when in reality it's a building bubble that will inevitably have to burst. What do you think?? http://finance.yahoo.com/retirement/article/108534/contrarian-investor-sees-economic-crash-in-china?mod=retire-planning James S. Chanos built one of the largest fortunes on Wall Street by foreseeing the collapse of Enron and other highflying companies whose stories were too good to be true. Now Mr. Chanos, a wealthy hedge fund investor, is working to bust the myth of the biggest conglomerate of all: China Inc. As most of the world bets on China to help lift the global economy out of recession, Mr. Chanos is warning that China's hyperstimulated economy is headed for a crash, rather than the sustained boom that most economists predict. Its surging real estate sector, buoyed by a flood of speculative capital, looks like "Dubai times 1,000 -- or worse," he frets. He even suspects that Beijing is cooking its books, faking, among other things, its eye-popping growth rates of more than 8 percent. More from NYTimes.com: "Bubbles are best identified by credit excesses, not valuation excesses," he said in a recent appearance on CNBC. "And there's no bigger credit excess than in China." He is planning a speech later this month at the University of Oxford to drive home his point. As America's pre-eminent short-seller -- he bets big money that companies' strategies will fail -- Mr. Chanos's narrative runs counter to the prevailing wisdom on China. Most economists and governments expect Chinese growth momentum to continue this year, buoyed by what remains of a $586 billion government stimulus program that began last year, meant to lift exports and consumption among Chinese consumers.

If George W. Bush had been the first President to need a teleprompter installed to be able to get through a press conference, would you have laughed and said this is more proof of how he inept he is on his own and is really controlled by smarter men behind the scenes? If George W. Bush had spent hundreds of thousands of dollars to take Laura Bush to a play in NYC, would you have approved? If George W. Bush had reduced your retirement plan's holdings of GM stock by 90% and given the unions a majority stake in GM, would you have approved? If George W. Bush had made a joke at the expense of the Special Olympics, would you have approved? If George W. Bush had given Gordon Brown a set of inexpensive and incorrectly formatted DVDs, when Gordon Brown had given him a thoughtful and historically significant gift, would you have approved? If George W. Bush had given the Queen of England an iPod containing videos of his speeches, would you have thought this embarrassingly narcissistic and tacky? If George W. Bush had bowed to the King of Saudi Arabia and the Emperor of Japan, would you have approved? If George W. Bush had visited Austria and made reference to the non-existent "Austrian language," would you have brushed it off as a minor slip? If George W. Bush had filled his cabinet and circle of advisers with people who cannot seem to keep current in their income taxes, would you have approved? If George W. Bush had stated that there were 57 states in the United States , would you have said that he is clueless. If George W. Bush would have flown all the way to Denmark to make a five minute speech about how the Olympics would benefit him walking out his front door in Texas , would you have thought he was a self important, conceited, egotistical idiot. If George W. Bush had been so Spanish illiterate as to refer to "Cinco de Cuatro" in front of the Mexican ambassador when it was the 5th of May (Cinco de Mayo), and continued to flub it when he tried again, would you have winced in embarrassment? If George W. Bush had mis-spelled the word "advice" would you have hammered him for it for years like Dan Quayle and potatoe as proof of what a dunce he is? If George W. Bush had burned 9,000 gallons of jet fuel to go plant a single tree on Earth Day, would you have concluded he's a hypocrite? If George W. Bush's administration had okayed Air Force One flying low over millions of people followed by a jet fighter in downtown Manhattan causing widespread panic, would you have wondered whether they actually get what happened on 9-11? If George W. Bush had failed to send relief aid to flood victims throughout the Midwest with more people killed or made homeless than in New Orleans , would you want it made into a major ongoing political issue with claims of racism and incompetence? If George W. Bush had created the position of 32 Czars who report directly to him, bypassing the House and Senate on much of what is happening in America , would you have approved. If George W. Bush had ordered the firing of the CEO of a major corporation, even though he had no constitutional authority to do so, would you have approved? If George W Bush had proposed to double the national debt, which had taken more than two centuries to accumulate, in one year, would you have approved? If George W. Bush had then proposed to double the debt again within 10 years, would you have approved? So, tell me again, what is it about Obama that makes him so brilliant and impressive? Can't think of anything? Don't worry. He's done all this in 11 months -- so you'll have three years and seven months to come up with an answer.

All great scientists , successful politicians , artists , singers , lawyers , engineers , doctors, saints have turned philosophers after best days of their career were over and they approached retirement. This is visible in their views , their writings , their books and speeches. I can give many examples to justify above observation. I want to know do you agree with me ? If you agree , what do you think is reason for their becoming philosopher ? One of the reasons I think is that they realised that best way they can decipher their knowledge , their leanings is by means of philosophical advices and thinking. What do you think ?

ok here is my plan: if everybody starts saying that jordan cannot come out of retirement because he is too old... and i mean like a movement, and even start a website... and this has to be huge... so huge it gets to jordan... forcing him to prove us wrong... ha ha you know how he said in a hall of fame speech he could still come back... what do you think?

A priest was being honored at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the Parish. A leading Senator and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and give a little speech at the dinner. He was delayed, so the priest decided to say his own few words while they waited. "I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession I heard here. I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first person who entered my confessional told me he had stolen a television set and, when questioned by the police, was able to lie his way out of it. He had stolen money from his parents, embezzled from his employer, had and affair with his boss's wife; taken illegal drugs, and gave VD to his sister. I was appalled. But as the days went on I knew that my people were not all like that and I had, indeed, come to a fine parish full of good and loving people."..... Just as the priest finished his talk, the republican senator arrived full of apologies at being late. He immediately began to make the presentation and gave his talk. "I'll never forget the first day our parish priest arrived," said the politician. "In fact, I had the honor of being the first person to go to him for confession." Moral: NEVER, NEVER, NEVER BE LATE!

For those of you who don't know, Tommy Dreamer, the last ECW original retired from ECW today after losing to a match with Zack Ryder Even though he was put to lose over many wrestlers, and had a title reign earlier this year, this guy was indeed the heart and sole of ECW. I think it was good that the WWE allowed him to give a long, emotional speech. I was touched by it, and I hope one day we see Dreamer in WWE again. Now a lot of people are saying he might go to TNA. While that is very likely, people leave out the possibilities of him joining independent promotions. Do you think he will go to TNA, or an independent promotion? How will he be treated in TNA now that TNA is focused on Hogan and whoever else is rumored to show up? BQ: Who is your favorite ECW original? BQ2: Who was the best WWECW champion in your opinion?

The government claimed that Social Security would come to us "as a right" and that "it would never be taxed" and that 1% would be "the most we would ever pay." Since the government was wrong about all of those things regarding Social Security, why would anyone trust what the government says about Roth IRAs twenty to forty years from now? Does anyone really believe that they won't be taxing Roth IRAs before long? Our government, Democrat or Republican, is facing $170 trillion in unfunded liabilities this century. There is no way they can afford allowing people to receive tax-free payments. Why would anyone believe that this would be the case, in a country where everything is always taxed and laws are always changed? After all, even the Constitution is ignored. McCain-Feingold restricts speech, Kelo restricts property rights, HCR violates Equal Protection clause, etc. Who in their right mind thinks something as small as a Roth IRA will survive? Even the beloved little HSA will be scrapped under the House and Senate versions of Health Care Reform. How many people donated to those thinking they'd be around forever and they didn't even last a few years!?

Well, i am only 49 and about a year ago i was diagnosed with pd after having a stroke. the starnge part of this is that i knew something was wrong in 07. I noticed resting tremors once in a while and smaller steps as a start of something not right. now i have to walk with the aid of a cane and walker because of my issue with balance. and as stated before, i keep losing items and getting stuck both in speech and in doorways when i do walk. is it possible i'm in a more advanced stage of the disease than originally thought. i get as much exercise as i can take but keep thinking i will end up in a wheelchair in the corner of a retirement home drooling on myself. any ideas would be welcome. and you can email me. Thank-You

Ok everyone, My boss is going to retire and were having a party for him soon, I need some good, but short quotes about retirement,

I really wanted to help her but i don't know how to start. Is there anybody who knows how?

If George W. Bush had been the first President to need a teleprompter installed to be able to get through a press conference, would you have laughed and said this is more proof of how inept he is on his own and is really controlled by smarter men behind the scenes? If George W. Bush had spent hundreds of thousands of dollars to take Laura Bush to a play in NYC, would you have approved? If George W. Bush had reduced your retirement plan's holdings of GM stock by 90% and given the unions a majority stake in GM, would you have approved? If George W. Bush had made a joke at the expense of the Special Olympics, would you have approved? If George W. Bush had given Gordon Brown a set of inexpensive and incorrectly formatted DVDs, when Gordon Brown had given him a thoughtful and historically significant gift, would you have approved? If George W. Bush had given the Queen of England an iPod containing videos of his speeches, would you have thought this embarrassingly narcissistic and tacky? If George W. Bush had bowed to the King of Saudi Arabia , would you have approved? If George W. Bush had filled his cabinet and circle of advisers with people who cannot seem to keep current in their income taxes, would you have approved? If George W. Bush had been so Spanish illiterate as to refer to "Cinco de Cuatro" in front of the Mexican ambassador when it was the e 5th of May (Cinco de Mayo), and continued to flub it when he tried again, would you have winced in embarrassment? If George W. Bush had burned 9,000 gallons of jet fuel to go plant a single tree on Earth Day, would you have concluded he's a hypocrite? If George W. Bush's administration had okayed Air Force One flying low over millions of people followed by a jet fighter in downtown Manhattan causing widespread panic, would you have wondered whether they actually get what happened on 9-11? If George W. Bush had failed to send relief aid to flood victims throughout the Midwest with more people killed or made homeless than in New Orleans , would you want it made into a major ongoing political issue with claims of racism and incompetence? If George W. Bush had created the position of 32 Czars who report directly to him, bypassing the House and Senate on much of what is happening in America , would you have approved. If George W. Bush had ordered the firing of the CEO of a major corporation, even though he had no constitutional authority to do so, would you have approved? If George W Bush had proposed to double the national debt, which had taken more than two centuries to accumulate, in one year, would you have approved? If George W. Bush had then proposed to double the debt again within 10 years, would you have approved? So, tell me again, what is it about Obama that makes him so brilliant and impressive? Can't think of anything? Don't worry.. He's done all this in a few months, so you'll have three years plus years to come up with an answer.

If George W.. Bush had been the first President to need a teleprompter installed to be able to get through a press conference, would you have laughed and said this is more proof of how inept he is on his own and is really controlled by smarter men behind the scenes? If George W. Bush had spent hundreds of thousands of dollars to take Laura Bush to a play in NYC, would you have approved? If George W. Bush had reduced your retirement plan's holdings of GM stock by 90% and given the unions a majority stake in GM, would you have approved? If George W. Bush had made a joke at the expense of the Special Olympics, would you have approved? If George W. Bush had given Gordon Brown a set of inexpensive and incorrectly formatted DVDs, when Gordon Brown had given him a thoughtful and historically significant gift, would you have approved? If George W. Bush had given the Queen of England an iPod containing videos of his speeches, would you have thought this embarrassingly narcissistic and tacky? If George W. Bush had bowed to the King of Saudi Arabia , would you have approved? If George W. Bush had visited Austria and made reference to the non-existent "Austrian language," would you have brushed it off as a minor slip? If George W. Bush had filled his cabinet and circle of advisers with people who cannot seem to keep current in their income taxes, would you have approved? If George W. Bush had been so Spanish illiterate as to refer to "Cinco de Cuatro" in front of the Mexican ambassador when it was the 5th of May (Cinco de Mayo), and continued to flub it when he tried again, would you have winced in embarrassment? If George W. Bush had mis-spelled the word "advice" would you have hammered him for it for years like Dan Quayle and potatoe as proof of what a dunce he is? If George W. Bush had burned 9,000 gallons of jet fuel to go plant a single tree on Earth Day, would you have concluded he's a hypocrite? If George W. Bush's administration had okayed Air Force One flying low over millions of people followed by a jet fighter in downtown Manhattan causing widespread panic, would you have wondered whether they actually get what happened on 9-11? If George W. Bush had failed to send relief aid to flood victims throughout the Midwest with more people killed or made homeless than in New Orleans , would you want it made into a major ongoing political issue with claims of racism and incompetence? If George W. Bush had created the position of 32 Czars who report directly to him, bypassing the House and Senate on much of what is happening in America , would you have approved. If George W. Bush had ordered the firing of the CEO of a major corporation, even though he had no constitutional authority to do so, would you have approved? If George W Bush had proposed to double the national debt, which had taken more than two centuries to accumulate, in one year, would you have approved? If George W. Bush had then proposed to double the debt again within 10 years, would you have approved? So, tell me again, what is it about Obama that makes him so brilliant and impressive? Can't think of anything? Don't worry. He's done all this in 5 months -- so you'll have three years and seven months to come up with an answer.

I received an email that began with "IF George Bush would have..." it goes on on to detail a long list of undesirable actions for a president. Then at the end, it says that Obama actually DID these things. Here is the list, can anyone tell me if any or all of this is true? If George W. Bush had been the first President to need a teleprompter installed to be able to get through a press conference, would you have laughed and said this is more proof of how he inept he is on his own and is really controlled by smarter men behind the scenes? If George W. Bush had spent hundreds of thousands of dollars to take Laura Bush to a play in NYC, would you have approved? If George W. Bush had reduced your retirement plan's holdings of GM stock by 90% and given the unions a majority stake in GM, would you have approved? If George W. Bush had made a joke at the expense of the Special Olympics, would you have approved? If George W. Bush had given Gordon Brown a set of inexpensive and incorrectly formatted DVDs, when Gordon Brown had given him a thoughtful and historically significant gift, would you have approved? If George W. Bush had given the Queen of England an iPod containing videos of his speeches, would you have thought this embarrassingly narcissistic and tacky? If George W. Bush had bowed to the King of Saudi Arabia , would you have approved? If George W. Bush had visited Austria and made reference to the non-existent "Austrian language," would you have brushed it off as a minor slip? If George W. Bush had filled his cabinet and circle of advisers with people who cannot seem to keep current in their income taxes, would you have approved? If George W. Bush had been so Spanish illiterate as to refer to "Cinco de Cuatro" in front of the Mexican ambassador when it was the 5th of May (Cinco de Mayo), and continued to flub it when he tried again, would you have winced in embarrassment? If George W. Bush had miss-spelled the word "advice" would you have hammered him for it for years like Dan Quayle and “potatoe” as proof of what a dunce he is? If George W. Bush had burned 9,000 gallons of jet fuel to go plant a single tree on Earth Day, would you have concluded he's a hypocrite? If George W. Bush's administration had okayed Air Force One flying low over millions of people followed by a jet fighter in downtown Manhattan causing widespread panic, would you have wondered whether they actually get what happened on 9-11? If George W. Bush had failed to send relief aid to flood victims throughout the Midwest with more people killed or made homeless than in New Orleans , would you want it made into a major ongoing political issue with claims of racism and incompetence? If George W. Bush had created the position 32 or more Czars who report directly to him, bypassing the House and Senate on much of what is happening in America , would you have approved. If George W. Bush had ordered the firing of the CEO of a major corporation, even though he had no constitutional authority to do so, would you have approved? If George W Bush had proposed to double the national debt, which had taken more than two centuries to accumulate, in one year, would you have approved? If George W. Bush had then proposed to double the debt again within 10 years, would you have approved? If George W. Bush had spent more than all the Presidents combined since George Washington, would you have approved? So, tell me again, what is it about Obama that makes him so brilliant and impressive? Can't think of anything? Don't worry. He's done all this in 10 months -- so you'll have 3 years and 2 months to come up with an answer. Sorry, that last part was the end of the email. Please respond with sources if you have them

So, I did this a while ago but didn't get any responses; here I go again! I really would appreciate some feedback this time! I am currently a junior in a Sacramento Area public high school. High school is okay, average. *Freshman: 4.0 GPA (No AP's offered - Took all CP classes) CP English, Student Govt, Spanish 1, Biology, Geography, Geometry, Health/Safety. *Sophomore: 4.2 GPA (Took the 1 AP class offered, 1 Honors, and all CP's) AP European History, Honors English, CP Chemistry, Student Govt, Spanish 2, Spanish 3, Algebra 2. *Junior: so far 4.33 GPA: Spanish 4, Anatomy/Physiology, Student Govt, AP Art History, AP Lang and Comp, Honors Pre-Calc, US History and Sociology at Community College. *Senior: probably about a 4.5 GPA; Expected Schedule: AP Spanish, AP Human Geography, AP Govt/Econ, AP Literature, AP Psychology, Student Govt, AP Stats, and 2 more Community College Classes *Top 5% of class *15/515 Class Rank (expected to rise to top 5 or 10) *ASB Vice President of my school (ASB President next year??) *Intern in California State Senate *Capitol Hill/D.C. Congressional Page *Varsity Track and Field athlete *Speech and Debate Champion *Youth Commissioner in my city's government which handles over $700,000 that is dispersed to local non-profit organizations *Started my school's Junior State of America chapter this year, where I am President *CSF member *20+ hours of community service with a local Children's hospital *20+ hours at Elementary schools with Special Education Students *20+ hours at local Retirement Home *Extensive work with Make-A-Wish Foundation *20+ hours at local Rehabilitation facility *20+ hours with local campaigns, and a bit of time with other various organizations. *EXCELLENT personal letters of recomendation PSAT last year as a sophomore: around 170 (but very high in reading/comprehension), with literally no preparation. I took a sample one with kaplan that was very accurate with last year's PSAT results and recieved a 198; just took the real one last month and pretty sure I got over 200. I am extremely passionate about politics, so I would like to study Political Science and minor in International Relations/Business. Possibly minor in Spanish. So far, in order of preference, my lists are: Reaches, partially realistic: 1. Stanford 2. Harvard 3. Princeton 4. Yale Realistic: 1. USC 2. UCLA 3. UCB 4. NYU 5. Columbia 6. Georgetown 7. Pepperdine Do I have a chance at any of these schools? Am I on track? Is there anything specific I can do to set myself apart from other applicants? Any other suggestions? *And I know it may help that I live in California for the UC's, and I know they say it doesn't matter but for what it's worth I am 1/2 Mexican, 1/4 Armenian, and 1/4 Yogoslavian. ALSO... hypothetical situation: I got into USC and Stanford. Both cost the same. I LOVE LA, not so much the Bay Area. I want to pursue an acting career also, so obviously the best place for that is LA. I feel like I will enjoy going to USC more but then again I don't know much about student life at Stanford. Is it worth it the bite the bullet and go for the prestige and so-called better education, or should I go to USC and pursue my other interests?

What are your opinions on lita'sr last match/ retirement? How do you feel about this? Well I was just rewatching this match on yourtube and I cried again. It made me feel so so sad on how here speech was interuppted and the ho-sale and the humiliation. It hurt me watching what was happening to my favorite wwe diva of all time. WWE should Be ASHAMED of themselves for doing that. And that is one thing i would not forgive wwe for. I am a huge fan of wwe and watch it forever but i will NEVER forgive them for what they did to lita. So how do you feel and your overall opinion on litas last match/retirement? bq- who TRULY revolusined womens wrestling in wwe trish or lita? and why please explain bq2- are you a fan of lita? Thank you

I've spent the past three years watching documentaries, network news, independent news, conspiracy theories.. I've read books, magazines, seen -every- TED talk, listen to every religious/atheist debate on youtube, read the Old Testament, the New testament and the Quran. I've come up with a proposal to help humanity evolve as a whole and meet the demands of the 21st century and I'd love to hear your thoughts. This may seem a bit longwinded, may come across as a rant -- but if you have 5-10 minutes to spare hopefully it will be worth it. I feel that the problems facing the world today can be summed up as an attempt to make a delicious pizza: 1. THE CRUST ---------------------- No true pizza can be called a pizza without a solid, tasty crust. In this instance, lets tackle the issue of our planet. The majority of scientists today claim that global warming is a man made disaster lurking on the horizon with symptoms already showing up today. The minority believe that global warming is inevitable. I agree with both. The problem with the global warming theory is that the answer always seems to involve the human race making sacrifices, living life in a simpler, humbler way. I think that that's the reason why so many people brush it off. Who wants to give up a chance at the good life.. that luxury car.. that amazing HD screen.. it's not like they're telling us we need to work less hours. The average human being works until their retirement. And no job is easy, by definition, most jobs are tasks. We're a species that loves being rewarded, pampered and spoiled. There's nothing wrong with that. The solution henceforth isn't really attractive when we're asked to spend less, consume less, travel less or erect crude contraptions in our backyard that produce minimal quantities of alternative energy. A better approach would be the frame of mind that distinguishes the "X-Prize" foundation. Science is not always a burning topic on the layman's daily ritual of work, family and bills. Many TED talks showcase brilliant ideas and theories, but their funding is absurdly minimal at best. The way to make a fantastic crust would be to create a transparent think tank based community of scientists, working against the clock, to create ATTRACTIVE ways to create solutions for our resource based way of life. A few examples would be; a modern car so luxurious and beautiful even the wealthiest people would covet. Solar panels that are smaller, more efficient, cheaper and less intrusive. Many of the most revered breakthroughs in the history of mankind came from extreme action; long, hard hours. A vision. Determination. Funding. We are spending too much money in other questionable areas that can be relocated to science. A final thought regarding the importance of acting NOW, with extreme measures, is something my dad told me a few weeks ago. He's a professor of speech pathology doing a world tour of lectures. I emailed him, asking him how wonderful it would be to achieve a breakthough and help millions of people all over the world.. his response, which is one we unfortunately hear too often these days, is that science takes many many years and he'll be lucky to have a tiny improvement in his lifetime. I'm sorry, but that isn't taking extreme measures. That's the apathy of an institution without sufficient funding and resources. A counter to that would be the war in Iraq. When a few highi ranking officials believe that an enormous and costly campaign in a foreign country is important -- you won't see people taking baby steps. Which brings me to my next point: 2. THE CHEESE ------------------------- Religion. Ignorance. Faith. Dogma. Creed. One thing that always astounded me from watching people like Hitch or Dawkins debating is the circular logic to the debates themselves. The atheists always have the answers to the questions. The literal, factual, peer reviewed data. The religious proponents will always, without fail, resort to the old or new testaments and to the Quran. I won't waste anymore time making this point (you have to reach this conclusion by yourselves), but there's a reason Mr. Dawkins refers to people that accept evolution and realize the phallacy of god and religion "Brights". It takes courage, commitment, self reflection, a desire to know the truth and gobs of humility to leave the religious mindset -- but the payoff is worth it. You get an accurate perspective on life. The problem with religion is, in this day and age, simply this: it takes funding away from science and incorrectly "educates" an entire generation of human beings. a 13 billion year old galaxy, the big bang, evolution and natural selection can all be scientifically proven. It's as simple as that. Look at the amount of money religion attracts. All religions. It's in the tens, even hundreds of billions. Has that changed the reality of starving people in Africa? Has it done anything to really promote

Each quarter, my English teacher has us write a speech. The speech for the quarter is a two minute retirement, set around 2058. How could I start my speech in a humorous (and appropriate) way, while still acknowledging who would have attended (sort of like the traditional "I would like to thank my sister...", but a bit more fun)?

If George W. > Bush had been the first President to need a > teleprompter installed to be able to get through a > press conference, > would you have laughed and said this is more proof of > how inept he is > on his own and is really controlled by smarter men > behind the scenes? > > If George W. Bush had spent hundreds of > thousands of > dollars to take Laura Bush to a play in > NYC, would you have approved? > > If George W. Bush had reduced your > retirement plan's > holdings of GM stock by 90% and given the unions a > majority stake in GM, would > you have approved? > > If George W. Bush had made a joke at > the expense of the > Special Olympics, would you have approved? > > > If George W. Bush had given Gordon > Brown a set of > inexpensive and incorrectly formatted DVDs, when > Gordon Brown had given > him a thoughtful and historically significant gift, > would you have approved? > > If George W. Bush had given the Queen of > England an iPod > containing videos of his speeches, would you have > thought this > embarrassingly narcissistic and tacky? > > If George W. Bush had bowed to the > King of Saudi Arabia , > would you have approved? > > If George W. Bush had visited > Austria and made > reference > to the non-existent "Austrian language," > would you have brushed > it off as a minor slip? > > > If George W. Bush had filled his cabinet > and circle of > advisers with people who cannot seem to keep current > in their income > taxes, would you have approved? > > > If George W. Bush had been so Spanish > illiterate as to > refer to "Cinco de Cuatro" in front of > the Mexican ambassador when it was > the 5th of May (Cinco de Mayo), and continued to flub > it when he tried > again, would you have winced in embarrassment? > > > If George W. Bush had mis-spelled the > word "advice" would > you have hammered him for it for years like Dan > Quayle and potatoe as proof > of > what a dunce he is? > > > If George W. Bush had burned 9,000 > gallons of jet fuel to > go plant a single tree on Earth Day, would you have > concluded he's a > hypocrite? > > If George W. Bush's administration > had okayed Air Force One > flying low over millions of people followed by a jet > fighter in downtown > Manhattan causing widespread > panic, would you have wondered whether they > actually get what happened on 9-11? > > > If George W. Bush had failed to send > relief aid to flood > victims throughout the Midwest with more people killed or made > homeless > than in New Orleans , would you want > it made into a major ongoing > political issue with claims of racism and > incompetence? > > > If George W. Bush had created the > position of 32 Czars who report > directly to him, bypassing the House and Senate on > much of what is happening > in America, would you have > approved? > > > If George W. Bush had ordered the firing of the CEO > of a major > corporation, even though he had no > constitutional > authority to do so, > would you have approved? > > > If George W Bush had proposed to double the > national debt, which had > taken more than two centuries to accumulate, in one > year, would you have > approved? > > > If George W. Bush had then proposed to double the > debt again within 10 > years, would you have approved? > > > So, tell me again, what is it about Obama that makes > him so brilliant > and impressive? Can't think of anything? > Don't worry. He's done all this > in 5 months -- so you'll have three years and > seven months to come up with > an answer. >

IF GEORGE W. BUSH WAS AN IDIOT . . . If George W. Bush had been the first President to need a teleprompter installed to be able to get through a press conference, would you have laughed and said this is more proof of how inept he is on his own and is really controlled by smarter men behind the scenes? If George W. Bush had spent hundreds of thousands of dollars to take Laura Bush to a play in NYC, would you have approved? If George W. Bush had reduced your retirement plan’s holdings of GM stock by 90% and given the unions a majority stake in GM, would you have approved? If George W. Bush had made a joke at the expense of the Special Olympics, would you have approved? If George W. Bush had given Gordon Brown a set of inexpensive and incorrectly formatted DVDs, when Gordon Brown had given him a thoughtful and historically significant gift, would you have approved? If George W. Bush had given the Queen of England an iPod containing videos of his speeches, would you have thought this embarrassingly narcissistic and tacky? If George W. Bush had bowed to the King of Saudi Arabia, would you have approved? If George W. Bush had visited Austria and made reference to the non-existent "Austrian language," would you have brushed it off as a minor slip? If George W. Bush had filled his cabinet and circle of advisers with people who cannot seem to keep current in their income taxes, would you have approved? If George W. Bush had been so Spanish illiterate as to refer to "Cinco de Cuatro" in front of the Mexican ambassador when it was the 5th of May (Cinco de Mayo), and continued to flub it when he tried again, would you have winced in embarrassment? If George W. Bush had mis-spelled the word "advice" would you have hammered him for it for years like Dan Quayle and potatoe as proof of what a dunce he is? If George W. Bush had burned 9,000 gallons of jet fuel to go plant a single tree on Earth Day, would you have concluded he's a hypocrite? If George W. Bush's administration had okayed Air Force One flying low over millions of people followed by a jet fighter in downtown Manhattan causing widespread panic, would you have wondered whether they actually get what happened on 9-11? If George W. Bush had failed to send relief aid to flood victims throughout the Midwest with more people killed or made homeless than in New Orleans , would you want it made into a major ongoing political issue with claims of racism and incompetence? If George W. Bush had created the position of 32 Czars who report directly to him, bypassing the House and Senate on much of what is happening in America, would you have approved. If George W. Bush had ordered the firing of the CEO of a major corporation, even though he had no constitutional authority to do so, would you have approved? If George W Bush had proposed to quadruple the national debt, which had taken more than two centuries to accumulate, in one year, would you have approved? If George W. Bush had then proposed to quadruple the debt again within 10 years, would you have approved? So, tell me again, what is it about Obama that makes him so brilliant and impressive? Can't think of anything? Don't worry. He's done all this in ten months -- so you'll have three years and two months to come up with an answer. Momma- you bring good points. however this "obama" guy preeched that he would not do spending unless it was needed. Has that been the case? Thank you.

IF GEORGE W. BUSH WAS AN IDIOT . . . If George W. Bush had been the first President to need a teleprompter installed to be able to get through a press conference, would you have laughed and said this is more proof of how inept he is on his own and is really controlled by smarter men behind the scenes? If George W. Bush had spent hundreds of thousands of dollars to take Laura Bush to a play in NYC, would you have approved? If George W. Bush had reduced your retirement plan’s holdings of GM stock by 90% and given the unions a majority stake in GM, would you have approved? If George W. Bush had made a joke at the expense of the Special Olympics, would you have approved? If George W. Bush had given Gordon Brown a set of inexpensive and incorrectly formatted DVDs, when Gordon Brown had given him a thoughtful and historically significant gift, would you have approved? If George W. Bush had given the Queen of England an iPod containing videos of his speeches, would you have thought this embarrassingly narcissistic and tacky? If George W. Bush had bowed to the King of Saudi Arabia, would you have approved? If George W. Bush had visited Austria and made reference to the non-existent "Austrian language," would you have brushed it off as a minor slip? If George W. Bush had filled his cabinet and circle of advisers with people who cannot seem to keep current in their income taxes, would you have approved? If George W. Bush had been so Spanish illiterate as to refer to "Cinco de Cuatro" in front of the Mexican ambassador when it was the 5th of May (Cinco de Mayo), and continued to flub it when he tried again, would you have winced in embarrassment? If George W. Bush had mis-spelled the word "advice" would you have hammered him for it for years like Dan Quayle and potatoe as proof of what a dunce he is? If George W. Bush had burned 9,000 gallons of jet fuel to go plant a single tree on Earth Day, would you have concluded he's a hypocrite? If George W. Bush's administration had okayed Air Force One flying low over millions of people followed by a jet fighter in downtown Manhattan causing widespread panic, would you have wondered whether they actually get what happened on 9-11? If George W. Bush had failed to send relief aid to flood victims throughout the Midwest with more people killed or made homeless than in New Orleans , would you want it made into a major ongoing political issue with claims of racism and incompetence? If George W. Bush had created the position of 32 Czars who report directly to him, bypassing the House and Senate on much of what is happening in America, would you have approved. If George W. Bush had ordered the firing of the CEO of a major corporation, even though he had no constitutional authority to do so, would you have approved? If George W Bush had proposed to quadruple the national debt, which had taken more than two centuries to accumulate, in one year, would you have approved? If George W. Bush had then proposed to quadruple the debt again within 10 years, would you have approved? So, tell me again, what is it about Obama that makes him so brilliant and impressive? Can't think of anything? Don't worry. He's done all this in ten months -- so you'll have three years and two months to come up with an answer. Joshua C- read answer below you. And no the point that you are missing is beyond me. The point is that people rode Bush hard for his mistakes he made. They really did. Why are people not for obama? You even did it yourself making fun of bush for the marbles in mouth. Why is the public not insulting obama the way they did to bush? Im not saying bush did not make mistakes. But he also did not create this "change" theory of spending money wise and end up going against it. Sorry to burst your bubble but you had wasted a lot of time writing what you wrote. Plus the guy below called you out. Better luck next time and thanks for backing up a president who has us in more debt than the last 200 years of presidents.

I need help with my speech contest next Wednesday. Please read the following script. My Dream Holiday Everyone has a dream holiday and take time to relax at their favorite places. You may have you dream holiday around the world or just in you own home. My dream holiday would be to go to Southern Europe. I choose Southern Europe as a destination is because mainly I have never been there and I hope to have a holiday in a different country. I’ve always enjoyed studying the history and the geographical parts of Europe and it is really interesting. When studying it, I sometimes imagine myself standing beside the Tower of Pisa or take pictures at the Arch of Constantine. I would like to know how it feels like to be inside the Coliseum where gladiators used to battle. To crack the codes of lost symbols and to experience the adventures they have often said. Visit the famous churches in Vatican City like the ones in the novel “Angels and Demons”. One thing I’d really want to do is to enjoy the architectures of Roman art. For example, the Temple of Apollo, Theatre of Epidaurus, and so on. Architectural sculptures carved neatly and cautiously to make perfect statues. Their visual examination in art is different than the ones people in Taiwan have. Leonardo Da Vinci and Michelangelo are one of the few famous artists there and whose art I’d like to enjoy if I ever go there. Then I can know more about it. I’d especially want to go there in winter time to take my time and enjoy a nice cup of hot chocolate in the coldness under all the sightseeing attractions while sketching all the beautiful sceneries I see. I often copy the drawing of pictures and that’s rather meaningless, sketching in front of the real place is the true work of art from you. Also, trying dishes made from real Europeans is an important thing on my list. I trust they have an extraordinary taste in their recipes, unlike the everyday dishes we eat. I see shows on T.V. and they have really neat food that I have never seen before that I would like to try. I wish to see the aura of Roman Dynasty. Walking around the medieval boundaries of Rome and enjoy its ancient historical sites which once have been ruled by powerful empires. Hearing Greek mythology always gives me the excitement to go there. Perhaps your dream holiday is after retirement or on a vacation. Anyhow, there’s a big dream and a big holiday waiting to up front. Maybe it’s not today or tomorrow, but it will come someday. I will make my dream holiday come true and hopefully so will yours. Grab your chance and let your dream holiday happen.

"The cost of our debt is one of the fastest growing expenses in the federal budget. This rising debt is a hidden domestic enemy, robbing our cities and states of critical investments in infrastructure like bridges, ports, and levees; robbing our families and our children of critical investments in education and health care reform; robbing our seniors of the retirement and health security they have counted on." - Barack Obama, Speech in the U.S. Senate, March 13, 2006 I believed his gilded speech of hope and change.Read below to see what we're getting. http://www.gop.gov/policy-news/09/10/21/democrats-deficits-and-debt

PLEASE READ ALL OF THIS.....IT IS THE ABSOLUTE TRUTH. The media inferred over and over that George W. Bush was an idiot....Hmmm....My, how the press has changed... If George W. Bush had been the first President to need a teleprompter installed to be able to get through a press conference, would you have laughed and said this is more proof of how inept he is on his own and is really controlled by smarter men behind the scenes? If George W. Bush had spent hundreds of thousands of dollars to take Laura Bush to a play in NYC, would you have approved? If George W. Bush had reduced your retirement plan's holdings of GM stock by 90% and given the unions a majority stake in GM, would you have approved? If George W. Bush had made a joke at the expense of the Special Olympics, would you have approved? If George W. Bush had given Gordon Brown a set of inexpensive and incorrectly formatted DVDs, when Gordon Brown had given him a thoughtful and historically significant gift, would you have approved? If George W. Bush had given the Queen of England an iPod containing videos of his speeches, would you have thought this embarrassingly narcissistic and tacky? If George W. Bush had bowed to the King of Saudi Arabia, would you have approved? If George W. Bush had visited Austria and made reference to the non-existent "Austrian language," would you have brushed it off as a minor slip? If George W. Bush had filled his cabinet and circle of advisers with people who cannot seem to keep current in their income taxes, would you have approved? If George W. Bush had been so Spanish illiterate as to refer to "Cinco de Cuatro" in front of the Mexican ambassador when it was the 5th of May (Cinco de Mayo), and continued to flub it when he tried again, would you have wincedin embarrassment? If George W. Bush had mis-spelled the word "advice" would you have hammered him for it for years like Dan Quayle and potatoe as proof of what a dunce he is? If George W. Bush had burned 9,000 gallons of jet fuel to go plant a single tree on Earth Day, would you have concluded he's a hypocrite? If George W. Bush's administration had okayed Air Force One flying low over millions of people followed by a jet fighter in downtown Manhattan causing widespread panic, would you have wondered whether they actually get what happened on 9-11? If George W. Bush had failed to send relief aid to flood victims throughout the Midwest with more people killed or made homeless than in New Orleans ,would you want it made into a major ongoing political issue with claims of racism and incompetence? If George W. Bush had ordered the firing of the CEO of a major corporation,even though he had no constitutional authority to do so, would you have approved? If George W Bush had proposed to double the national debt, which had taken more than two centuries to accumulate, in one year, would you have approved? If George W. Bush had then proposed to double the debt again within 10 years,would you have approved? So, tell me again, what is it about Obama that makes him so brilliant and impressive? Can't think of anything? Don't worry. He's done all this in 5 months so you'll have three years and seven months to come up with an answer. Hows that hope and change doing for you??

If George W. Bush had been the first President to need a teleprompter installed to be able to get through a press conference, would you have laughed and said this is more proof of how he inept he is on his own and is really controlled by smarter men behind the scenes? If George W. Bush had spent hundreds of thousands of dollars to take Laura Bush to a play in NYC, would you have approved? If George W. Bush had reduced your retirement plan's holdings of GM stock by 90% and given the unions a majority stake in GM, would you have approved? If George W. Bush had made a joke at the expense of the Special Olympics, would you have approved? If George W. Bush had given Gordon Brown a set of inexpensive and incorrectly formatted DVDs, when Gordon Brown had given him a thoughtful and historically significant gift, would you have approved? If George W. Bush had given the Queen of England an iPod containing videos of his speeches, would you have thought this embarrassingly narcissistic and tacky? If George W. Bush had bowed to the King of Saudi Arabia would you have approved? If George W.. Bush had visited Austria and made reference to the non-existent "Austrian language," would you have brushed it off as a minor slip? If George W. Bush had filled his cabinet and circle of advisers with people who cannot seem to keep current in their income taxes, would you have approved? If George W. Bush had been so Spanish illiterate as to refer to "Cinco de Cuatro" in front of the Mexican ambassador when it was the 5th of May (Cinco de Mayo), and continued to flub it when he tried again, would you have winced in embarrassment? If George W.. Bush had mis-spelled the word "advice" would you have hammered him for it for years like Dan Quayle and potatoe as proof of what a dunce he is? If George W. Bush had burned 9,000 gallons of jet fuel to go plant a single tree on Earth Day, would you have concluded he's a hypocrite? If George W. Bush's administration had okayed Air Force One flying low over millions of people followed by a jet fighter in downtown Manhattan causing widespread panic, would you have wondered whether they actually get what happened on 9-11? If George W.. Bush had created the position of 32 Czars who report directly to him, bypassing the House and Senate on much of what is happening in America, would you have approved. If George W. Bush had ordered the firing of the CEO of a major corporation, even though he had no constitutional authority to do so, would you have approved? If George W Bush had proposed to double the national debt, which had taken more than two centuries to accumulate, in one year, would you have approved? If George W. Bush had then proposed to double the debt again within 10 years, would you have approved? Well, America would if it was Obama....o wait :(

Was George W. Bush Such an Idiot?? If George W. Bush had been the first President to need a teleprompter installed to be able to get through a press conference, would you have laughed and said this is more proof of how he inept he is on his own and is really controlled by smarter men behind the scenes? If George W. Bush had spent hundreds of thousands of dollars to take Laura Bush to a play in NYC, would you have approved? If George W. Bush had reduced your retirement plan's holdings of GM stock by 90% and given the unions a majority stake in GM, would you have approved? If George W. Bush had made a joke at the expense of the Special Olympics, would you have approved? If George W. Bush had given Gordon Brown a set of inexpensive and incorrectly formatted DVDs, when Gordon Brown had given him a thoughtful and historically significant gift, would you have approved? If George W. Bush had given the Queen of England an iPod containing videos of his speeches, would you have thought this embarrassingly narcissistic and tacky? If George W. Bush had bowed to the King of Saudi Arabia , would you have approved? If George W. Bush had visited Austria and made reference to the non-existent "Austrian language," would you have brushed it off as a minor slip? If George W. Bush had filled his cabinet and circle of advisers with people who cannot seem to keep current in their income taxes, would you have approved? If George W. Bush had been so Spanish illiterate as to refer to "Cinco de Cuatro" in front of the Mexican ambassador when it was the 5th of May (Cinco de Mayo), and continued to flub it when he tried again, would you have winced in embarrassment? If George W. Bush had mis-spelled the word "advice" would you have hammered him for it for years like Dan Quayle and potatoe as proof of what a dunce he is? If George W. Bush had burned 9,000 gallons of jet fuel to go plant a single tree on Earth Day, would you have concluded he's a hypocrite? If George W. Bush's administration had okayed Air Force One flying low over millions of people followed by a jet fighter in downtown Manhattan causing widespread panic, would you have wondered whether they actually get what happened on 9-11? what is happening in America , would you have approved.

If George W. Bush had been the first President to need a teleprompter installed to be able to get through a press conference, would you have laughed and said this is more proof of how he inept he is on his own and is really controlled by smarter men behind the scenes? If George W. Bush had spent hundreds of thousands of dollars to take Laura Bush to a play in NYC, would you have approved? If George W. Bush had reduced your retirement plan's holdings of GM stock by 90% and given the unions a majority stake in GM, would you have approved? If George W. Bush had made a joke at the expense of the Special Olympics, would you have approved? If George W. Bush had given Gordon Brown a set of inexpensive and incorrectly formatted DVDs, when Gordon Brown had given him a thoughtful and historically significant gift, would you have approved? If George W. Bush had given the Queen of England an iPod containing videos of his speeches, would you have thought this embarrassingly narcissistic and tacky? If George W. Bush had bowed to the King of Saudi Arabia, would you have approved? If George W. Bush had visited Austria and made reference to the non-existent "Austrian language," would you have brushed it off as a minor slip? If George W. Bush had filled his cabinet and circle of advisers with people who cannot seem to keep current on their income taxes, would you have approved? If George W. Bush had been so Spanish illiterate as to refer to "Cinco de Cuatro" in front of the Mexican ambassador when it was the fourth of May (Cuatro de Mayo), and continued to flub it when he tried again, would you have winced in embarrassment? If George W. Bush had mis-spelled the word advice would you have hammered him for it for years like Dan Quayle and potatoe as proof of what a dunce he is? If George W. Bush had burned 9,000 gallons of jet fuel to go plant a single tree on Earth Day, would you have concluded he's a hypocrite? If George W. Bush's administration had okayed Air Force One flying low over millions of people followed by a jet fighter in downtown Manhattan causing widespread panic, would you have wondered whether they actually get what happened on 9-11? If George W. Bush had failed to send relief aid to flood victims throughout the Midwest with more people killed or made homeless than in New Orleans , would you want it made into a major ongoing political issue with claims of racism and incompetence? If George W. Bush had ordered the firing of the CEO of a major corporation, even though he had no constitutional authority to do so, would you have approved? If George W. Bush had proposed to double the national debt, which had taken more than two centuries to accumulate, in one year, would you have approved? If George W. Bush had then proposed to double the debt again within 10 years, would you have approved? So, tell me again, what is it about Obama that makes him so brilliant and impressive? Can't think of anything? Don't worry. He's done all this in 5 months -- so you'll have three years and seven months to come up with an answer.

We just found out my husband got orders to Minot. Yay. I have an 11 year old son with severe disabilities. For those that have been stationed there, what are the medical facilities like, other than the base hospital. My son needs to have a children's hospital near by. He see's the following clinics: -Pediatric Neurology -Pediatric Ophthalmology -Pediatric Gastroenterology -Pediatric Dysphagia/Nutrition Clinic -Pediatric Occupational/Physical/Vision/Speech Therapists Plus, all the various special education services he will need. He is in a wheelchair, and does not communicate verbally, he has cortical vision/hearing impairments and a feeding tube. We have to do a medical clearance, but the waiting game is going to stress me out beyond belief. I do not want to uproot him, he gets so stressed out as it is, and now to possibly have to get reestablished somewhere else is scary. I am really hoping his needs cannot be met and we will not have to go. I know that sounds horrible, but we are so close to retirement and we have family here that helps provide respite care. This will be an awful move all around =(. Thanks for "listening" to my rant!

Dear Friends, After having tried myself for sevaral days, I have gven up. My dad is retiring in 3 days from Police Department after 37 years of service. There is a small party that has been hosted and I want to deliver a speech. Can someone help me on how do I do that.

He got elected for who he wasn't, ie, not a Tory who everyone was tired of, gave the use of the UK military to Bush to secure his own retirement giving speeches, and changed his religion to appeal to catholic Europeans and get himself elected EU minister. ...and he's left wing, a Champagne-Socialist, from the left wing New Labour Party

MANILA, Oct 21 - The Philippines on Wednesday issued rules to implement a new law to allow the creation of tax-free personal retirement plans that will see funds flow into the domestic debt and stock markets. Similar to the 401K plan in the United States, the Personal Equity Retirement Account provides tax incentives for long-term savings channeled into local financial instruments. "The PERA law provides an organised framework for cultivating retail savings and offering the means to transform the resource of saving into the opportunities of long term investment," central bank governor Amando Tetangco said in a speech. The law allows a maximum annual contribution to tax-free savings accounts of 100,000 pesos per individual and double that amount for Filipinos working overseas. Funds invested into PERA may be placed in a host of local financial instruments, including stocks, bonds and mutual funds. Fund managers said they were waiting to see the details of the rules, which will be published this week, and it was too early to say how much this scheme would impact the stock and debt markets. The law will take effect immediately after the rules are published. Nestor Espenilla, central bank deputy governor, told reporters it was hard to gauge how much funds would actually flow into the capital market, but the potential was huge. "The total deposit base of the banking system is already in the order of around 5 trillion pesos," he said. "Of course only a portion of that could be re-directed towards long-term but we are after those outside the system, those who have not been saving before, especially OFW money," Espenilla said. More than a tenth of the country's 92 million people live and work abroad. Last year they sent a total $16.4 billion pesos to their families and the amount is expected to climb 4 percent this year, based on central bank estimates.

A Priest was being honored at his retirement dinner after 35 years in the parish. A leading local politician and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and to give a little speech at the dinner. However, he was delayed, so the Priest decided to say his own few words while they waited: "I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession I heard here. I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first person who entered my confessional told me he had stolen a television set and, when questioned by the police, was able to lie his way out of it. He had stolen money from his parents, embezzled from his employer, had an affair with his boss's wife, and taken illegal drugs. I was appalled. But, as the days went on, I learned that my people were not all like that and I had, indeed, come to a fine parish full of good and loving people." Just as the Priest finished his talk, the politician arrived full of apologies at being late. He immediately began to make the presentation and gave his talk: "I'll never forget the first day our parish Priest arrived," said the politician. "In fact, I had the honor of being the first person to go to him for confession."

Some people think President George W. Bush was "the dumbest president ever" (and, amazingly, many of you still do), please note that political blogger Josh Ray has this message for you: If George W. Bush had given Prime Minister Gordon Brown a set of inexpensive and incorrectly formatted DVDs, when Prime Minister Gordon Brown had given him a thoughtful and historically significant gift, would you have approved? If George W. Bush had given the Queen of England an iPod containing videos of his speeches, would you have thought this embarrassingly narcissistic and tacky? If George W.. Bush had bowed to the King of Saudi Arabia , would you have approved? If George W. Bush had visited Austria and made reference to the non-existent "Austrian language," would you have brushed it off as a minor slip? If George W. Bush had filled his cabinet and circle of advisers with people who cannot seem to keep current on their income taxes, would you have approved? If George W. Bush had been so Spanish illiterate as to refer to Cinco de Cuatro in front of the Mexican ambassador when it was the fourth of May (Cuatro de Mayo), and continued to flub it when he tried again, would you have winced in embarrassment? If George W. Bush had mis-spelled the word "advice" would you have hammered him for it for years like Dan Quayle and 'potatoe' as proof of what a dunce he is? If George W. Bush had burned 9,000 gallons of jet fuel to go plant a single tree on Earth Day, would you have concluded he's a hypocrite? If George W. Bush's administration had okayed Air Force One flying low over millions of people followed by a jet fighter in downtown Manhattan, causing widespread panic, would you have wondered whether they actually get what happened on 9-11? If George W. Bush had been the first President to need a teleprompter installed to be able to get through a press conference, would you have laughed and said this is more proof of how inept he is on his own and is really controlled by smarter men behind the scenes? If George W. Bush had failed to send relief aid to flood victims throughout the Midwest with more people killed or made homeless than in New Orleans, would you want it made into a major ongoing political issue with claims of racism and incompetence? If George W. Bus h had ordered the firing of the CEO of a major corporation, even though he had no constitutional authority to do so, would you have approved? If George W. Bush had proposed to double the national debt, which had taken more than two centuries to accumulate, in one year, would you have approved? If George W.. Bush had then proposed to double the debt again within 10 years, would you have approved? If George W. Bush had reduced your retirement plans holdings of GM stock by 90% and given the unions a majority stake in GM, would you have approved? If George W. Bush had spent hundreds of thousands of dollars to take Laura Bush to a play in NYC, would you have approved? So, tell me again, what is it about Obama that makes him so brilliant and impressive? Can't think of anything? Don't worry. He's done all this in 5 months - so you'll have three years and seven months to come up with an answer. No common-sense, naive, incompet ent, uninformed voters did this to themselves. Insanity is wide-spread. Real Americans are waking up.